10 Rules for a Hitman to Live By

HitmanTomislav Boksic (aka Toxic), the hero of Hallgrimur Helgason's new comic thriller The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning, had a record of 66 perfect kills. Then came the 67th—an undercover FBI agent—and suddenly he found himself in Iceland with a new identity. Oops. Avoid this kind of careless error by following Toxic's handy tips.

1. Don't miss the target. People tend to get a bit upset if they notice you're trying to kill them.
2. Don't waste a bullet. You have to think about the environment, too—you really shouldn't add an unnecessary gunshot to an already noisy city.
3. Morning is for murder. Nobody expects a bullet for breakfast.
4. Don't kill a priest. He who kills a man of the church will be killed by a church.
5. Don't confuse killing and murder. Murder is for amateurs, killing is for the professionals.
6. If you have to take on another person's identity, never let it be a priest's. With that collar around your neck, your sex appeal is gone.
7. When you're dating, don't talk about your job—unless you're overseas. Foreign girls are crazy about guys who kill Americans.
8. Embrace every new passport they give you. It's always nice to get a new life now and then.
9. Don't kill the wrong guy. Or you'll end up in Iceland.
10. When in Iceland, stop the killing. There are so few of them.

 


Leave a Comment

Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear on this blog until approved.

Comments (3)

haha, That's awesome. I love those 10 rules. MY favorite is #7

7. When you're dating, don't talk about your job—unless you're overseas. Foreign girls are crazy about guys who kill Americans.

Posted by: Titan Poker Bonus Code | Friday April 27, 2012 at 9:19 PM

This post if quite interesting and having a great source of valuable information.

Posted by: mydarling | Monday February 27, 2012 at 10:21 PM

Please don't kill any Icelanders!

Posted by: Oedipa Hex | Thursday February 2, 2012 at 1:47 PM

Lists + Reviews

Best Books Literature + Fiction Nonfiction Kids + Young Adult Mystery, Thriller + Suspense Science Fiction + Fantasy Comics + Graphic Novels Romance Eating + Drinking

Authors

Interviews Guest Essays

News + Features

News Features Awards

Editors

Omnivoracious, The Amazon Book Review

Feeds Facebook Twitter YouTube